Not Love, Not Yet
by The Red Celt
Summary: Another one for da meme: OP asked for "Don't much mind how it happens, but I will give you all my love and cookies if it involves sweaty, rough, emotionally-charged sex that ends with Shepard all but melting into a puddle, and Zaeed being totally in love with her." Maybe a little OOC given the prompt, but hopefully it's not too noticeable.


It only took about two hours for Zaeed to realize he was now thoroughly drunk. He'd spent the first hour with Garrus, discussing the merits of exploding glass walls and electrified hot tubs, and the second hour with Wrex and his shotgun. Joker had looked laughably nervous at the sight of two armored mercenaries with guns drawn, but they'd taken out the heat sinks at the beginning and were basically the grown-up equivalent of two kids messing about with pop guns. When he'd started humming the Mission: Impossible theme under his breath while he ducked around a corner, he took an inventory of all the alcohol he'd imbibed and decided that what he really needed to do was go sit down for a minute and reevaluate his decision-making skills.

He stumbled from room to room, accidentally walking in on Kaidan and Liara making out like a couple of teenagers. The room at the end of the hall was dark and he barged in, sliding the door shut behind him. He turned around and found Shepard sitting there on the bed with a question in her raised eyebrows and an amused half-smile on her lips. He sighed and started to leave, grumbling an apology, but she called his name.

"You can stay, if you want," she said, her voice lower than usual. He was used to listening to her shout orders across the battlefield, or her Alliance Commander persona on the ship, so this quieter version of Shepard threw him off a bit. She sat cross-legged on the bed in a tee shirt and jeans, and the only light came filtering in through the thin rice paper-like material covering the door.

"Sure you don't mind? "

"Nope." She patted the mattress next to her and he sat down with a groan of relief. His armor was suddenly too hot and he started taking it off, then looked back at her. She nodded and gestured for him to continue and he hummed his thanks at her while he continued unbuckling his hard suit. He piled all the pieces on the floor and lay back on the bed with his eyes closed. After a minute, he felt her hands in his hair, massaging his scalp, and he groaned again.

"Oh, that's nice."

"Mmm hmm." She was really good with her hands. He wouldn't have thought that he carried so much tension behind his ears, but her fingers found it and kneaded it away. Within minutes, she'd transformed him into a limp puddle of jelly.

"Mind if I ask what you're doing in here?" he asked through lips that felt as though they weighed ten pounds each.

"I've never really been what you'd call a party animal."

"So why throw a party, then?"

She was quiet while she thought, then said, "I like the sound of all my friends together, talking, having a good time. It reminds me . . . it makes all the fighting worth it. In the middle of a war—maybe the last war—there's still time for a little music and happiness. You know?"

"No, not really."

She pinched his ear lightly. "Here I am, trying to have a moment, and you have to go and ruin it. You can be positive and still be a badass, you know."

"Not in my experience, love. One usually negates the other."

"Don't you have any friends? Anyone who makes you happy?"

"Besides you? No." Her fingers paused for a moment, then resumed their path to the back of his neck. She cradled his head in her hands while she massaged him, and he cracked his eyelids enough to see the serene smile on her face.

"I make you happy?" she asked with a smirk.

He frowned up at her, but the withering effect was somewhat lessened by the wave of calm and relaxation that was stealing over him. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"Oh, no. The biggest and baddest of all asses in the galaxy has a friend. Someone take his man card, quick." He sat up to argue with her, but she just pulled him back down and put his head in her lap.

"That's not fair."

"What?" she asked, knowing perfectly well what he meant.

"Using those magic fingers to make me shut up. It's not fair."

"It's also not working. You're still talking."

"So make me shut up, then." She looked down at him, the gears in her head turning. The space between them was charged all of a sudden, and the way she was touching him turned from innocence to something more. They both made up their minds at the same time and then she was leaning down to him. He sat up to meet her half-way and their lips met in the middle, softly at first and then with more certainty. They parted just long enough for him to get turned around and then he was back on her again, pushing her back onto the pillows while she put her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist.

It had been a long time since he'd done this, but he found that familiar rhythm again soon enough. He held himself up with one hand while the other dragged down her body, skating over her breast to her waist and giving a squeeze. Shepard pulled away with a gasp and framed his face with her hands.

"Zaeed," she breathed and kissed him again, but this time she took the lead. The pace she set was slow but no less passionate as her tongue slipped past his to explore the topography of his mouth. She silently demanded that he follow her lead, and he slowed his feverish, headlong rush to savor this moment for a while. His touch became more deliberate as his fingers slid up under her shirt to cup her breast through the thin fabric of her bra. When she sighed into his mouth, he pushed his hips into hers and a wave of heat pooled in his groin. They were both still fully clothed, but he was getting harder by the second as she overtook his mouth with kisses and rolled her body against his.

Going slow became too much to bear and he surged against her, attacking her mouth and throat with open-mouthed kisses. Her hands were everywhere, trying to touch all of him at once as she pulled him closer and fit her body against his. The way she moved her hips, Christ—he wanted to feel her skin on his and taste her sweat on his tongue when he kissed her. She hurriedly unbuttoned his pants and shoved her hand inside to grip him, drawing a deep moan from him as he thrust into her hand. He broke their kiss to look down at her, meeting her eyes as she stroked him until he was achingly hard and breathless. Her eyes were heavy-lidded and her face was flushed, and every time he moaned or gasped, she responded with one of her own.

"Shepard—stop, you have to stop or I'm gonna—"

"You're gonna what?" she murmured, and sucked at his earlobe, nipping lightly at it. "Tell me."

"Fuck, Shepard." He grabbed her wrist, pulled her hand out of his pants, and yanked her arms up over her head. She gave a brief struggle, but he leaned on her harder and she stopped, giving him a sultry smirk that turned his blood to fire. His lips just barely grazed her skin as he spoke, his breath tickling along the fine hairs on her face and neck.

"I'm gonna take my hands away now. Don't. Move." Shepard obeyed, and watched with rapt attention as he pulled his shirt up over his head to reveal a chest covered in fine brown hair peppered with gray. He was covered in scars, some shiny and pink, some puckered and faded. Shepard longed to map out each one and her fingers burned to touch him.

He noticed her watching him and smirked down at her, taking his time pulling his trousers down and off. He felt a little absurd doing it, but the look on her face when he stood there, revealed before her, was worth it. She raised her hips invitingly and he took the hint, opening her fly and pulling the zipper down slowly enough that he could feel it every time the teeth parted. His fingers curled over the waistband and began pulling them down her hips and off her legs, following them with kisses.

The crotch of her panties was soaking through when he took them off of her, and he bent down over her bared body to lick her inner thighs. Her knees fell open, her legs trembling, as his fingers skimmed over her stomach and down to tease her lower lips open. Her eyes rolled back and she arched up into his touch, silently begging for more.

"How do you want me?" he asked, the rasp in his voice turning his words into growls that flowed across her body like electric tingles. "What do you like?"

She broke her promise to be still when she reached down and grabbed his arms, pulling him up to lay beside her. She put one leg over his hip and guided his hand where she wanted it, into her wet warmth where every touch sent sparks of heat all across her body. She kissed him, her heart racing, and wrapped her fingers around his cock to stroke him again. When he moaned into her hair, she scooted down the bed a little further to flick his nipple with her tongue.

It was too much and Zaeed was already so turned on that he almost came right then. He growled low in his throat and flipped her onto her stomach, pulling her arms behind her back and holding them in place with one hand while the other worked between her thighs. She gasped in surprise and chased that with a moan when he started rubbing her swollen clit. He straddled her hips and she could feel his hard length against the back of her thigh, but the way he had her pinned meant she couldn't do anything about it.

"Shepard . . ." he whispered as he kissed her neck, taking in the scent of her hair. He was trying to keep his weight on his knees but most of his body was resting on hers as his fingers thrust into her, building the pleasure to feverish heights while she squirmed and moaned beneath him.

"Zaeed, I'm so close, oh god don't stop, _please_-" she begged and tried to arch her hips into his hand. He could feel her walls tightening, constricting around his fingers as the wave inside her crested. She turned her face into the mattress and cried out as her orgasm hit, and Zaeed stroked her slowly until the last of the aftershocks passed and she lay still again.

Shepard rolled onto her back and looked up at him with a relaxed, sated expression. One hand came up to cup his cheek and he turned to lay a kiss on her palm. The way she looked just then with her hair fanning out around her face and softness in her bright green eyes made his heart ache in a way it hadn't done in years. He couldn't stop the words from spilling out, and wasn't sure if he even wanted to.

"You're so beautiful." She smiled, one meant just for him, and gave him a lingering kiss on the scar that took up most of his cheek. For once, she didn't fire back with jokes or sarcasm, but responded with her arms around his neck and her lips on his to let him know that she understood what had made him say the words in the first place, and the ones unsaid that lay behind them.

She pushed on his shoulder and had him roll over, taking her with him so that she was on top. She raised herself up and moved him into position, then sank down over him, taking his cock into her body as deep as he could go. Her lips fell open as he slid into her, stretching and filling her, until their hips met and she threw her head back. Zaeed gripped her hips, his hands large on her slender frame, and gazed up at her as her body undulated to the unheard biorhythms of the universe.

He sat up and crushed her against his chest, rocking up into her and forcing her to move faster, to fuck him harder. She buried her face in his neck to stifle her cries as he pounded into her with grunts and harsh exhalations. Their sweat-slick bodies slid together easily now and Shepard dug her fingers into his arms as she rode him toward another climax. He kissed and licked at every inch of skin he could reach, then took a handful of her hair and yanked her head back so he could suck hard on her neck. He ground her down on his thick cock until her barely-controlled moans turned into pleas for more and endless repetitions of his name. He'd never heard a better sound in his life.

As the pleasure mounted and tightened in his groin, he wanted more than anything in that moment to give up everything for her. If she'd asked, he would have thrown in with her, boarded the Normandy, and followed her into the ninth circle of Hell. Shepard was a goddess, and he her willing supplicant. She could never be close enough, and he wanted to drown in her. If death found them after tonight he would die a satisfied man.

Shepard looked at him through messy locks of red hair and held his head in her hands. "Look at me, Zaeed, stay with me." It was difficult not to close his eyes and float away on the sensation, but he kept his eyes locked with hers, watching her while she was most vulnerable and wondering if she could see into him the same way. She rode him hard, her thighs shaking with effort until she gasped one last time and came shuddering in his arms. The feel of her walls clamping down on him was enough to strip him of the last of his control and he came inside her, pouring into her until he couldn't bear for her to see his face anymore and he held her tight against him, his mouth pressed to her shoulder.

Some time later, when he'd figured out how to move again, he started to pull out of her but she stopped him, saying, "No, I like the way you feel in me." He relaxed into her with a sigh and let her rub his back in senseless patterns. Every once in a while, she would involuntarily squeeze his softening cock and he wondered if she would want to go another round, but just being with her like this was nice, too.

She asked, her whispers falling against his temple, "Come with me, Zaeed. I need you with me in London." And he had no answer for her except to say, "Yes."


End file.
